“The Making of a Man.”
Australia is the third country that I’ve lived in and while I really love this nation, its people, culture and its values, there are some things that I’ve observed from other places that I think we lack here. One of those things relates to the raising of boys to become young men.
In many other cultures there is a ‘rite of passage’ when a boy celebrates and marks his transition from childhood to manhood. It’s usually taken very seriously and can not only involve the boy’s entire family, but in some cases involves his village, church/mosque/synagogue/temple and school. These ‘rite of passage’ helps the boy define his journey and gives him a handle on his sense of purpose and destiny. The pathway ahead is made clearer to him and societal expectations are defined. Without this a young person can find teen years and the transition to adulthood, confusing and uncertain.
We are hearing quite a bit recently about and increase in our society of domestic violence. I wonder if these perpetrators of violence against women have ever had a mentor say to them, “boys don’t hit girls,” or, “real men don’t beat women?” My dad said that to me often whenever one of my annoying sisters (and I have four!!) were making me angry. Having that spoken into my life by people I esteemed, created a value and a boundary that was never to be crossed. People grow up doing what has been modelled to them by others.
I think that it’s good to have laws and stiffer penalties to try to curb domestic violence, but as they say, “prevention is better than cure.” Kids were never meant to be left to develop their own values and guidelines when it comes to how they treat others around them. The Bible says, “Raise up a child in the way that he should go, so that when he is old he won’t depart from it.” In a functional community, everybody plays their part in the ‘making of a boy to be a man.’ The dad and relatives, yes! But also the teacher, the coach, the youth leader, the priest, the neighbour. In the community of Dayboro, we have a great opportunity to raise the boys to respect and honour the women in their lives.
Gary Levens is pastor of Dayboro Church.*
