June2014_SO WHAT’S BEEN HAPPENING
by Ryle Winn
I’ve spent some time recently knocking about the back blocks on my Pat Malone having a quiet look about and minding my own business. Good stuff. Me, my swag and the big sky country of western Queensland. Good for the soul. But not so good for the two emus that tangled with the HiLux.
I saw them coming through the sparse scrub from a way back and eased right off the accelerator. So did they. Then they decided to cross in front of the ute, but at the last minute changed their minds and turned back to disappear into the scrub from whence they’d first appeared. Good, I thought. Smart move. Then the unexpected happened. Ever seen an emu do a couple or three 180°s in a split second and suicide. Well I have. Two of them – stone dead after destroying a front headlight and a back tyre. Yep emus are stupid.
So am I. The next day I ran over a steel spike and holed the sump. Pretty smart eh? One spike in perhaps 900 or 1000 square miles and I had to run over it in the middle of nowhere.
In one town I chose the worst hotel in the southern hemisphere to camp. My room was inhabited by platoons of cockroaches – big healthy buggers, evil eyed and cheeky. Just as well I was tired.
At Winton I camped at the cattle saleyards (a huge complex and acres of car parking). It has a good set-up with showers toilets etc. It was Easter Monday and I’d just got to sleep with my swag spread over the ute tray. (I don’t like grumpy mulga snakes for company on the ground.)
I heard the V8 before I saw it. Then the sweep of headlights briefly illuminated the Hilux cab and stopped, about ten metres away. Here’s trouble, I thought, and tried to find my boots.
For a little while I couldn’t get the gist of what was going on. Then I did. The driver was delivering an enduring stream of colourful adjectives about his girlfriend who had gone home with a friend. The bloke in the passenger seat probably should’ve been listening attentively to his mate’s tirade except all he could do was spew loudly through the half open passenger door. Then just as things started to quite down they decided that they should spring out of their ute and stack on a blue without an audience – except me. Top entertainment. As an encore, a bit of impressive circle work finished off the long weekend.
I bet they won’t remember but I will. You wouldn’t be dead for quids.
Phone 3425 1247
