Aug2012_PARENTS ARE HUMAN TOO
A Guide for Parents in 250 words by Robyn Maggs – Eyes of Heart ph. 3103 1249.
It is easy for parents to feel they must be the expert and be right all the time – after all the role we fulfill is the hugest (and often least acknowledged), task we will ever undertake.
It is easy for parents to feel they must be the expert and be right all the time – after all the role we fulfill is the hugest (and often least acknowledged), task we will ever undertake.
Yet parents are human, we make mistakes and have feelings. We get upset, excited, depressed, angry. We feel joy despair, failure and pride. We get tired, very tired. We do, and say, the ‘wrong’ things. This is okay. We don’t need to beat ourselves up about it, rather accept it and move on.
As a parent you don’t have to be perfect – it’s not only okay but extremely beneficial to admit a mistake was made. Apologise if appropriate and share your feelings with your adolescent or child. This will give them a far more realistic picture of adulthood and make you a more authentic role model. Forget ideal images. We are who we are and it is okay to let our kids see that.
So next time you lose it and react in frustration or anger, try afterwards saying something like “I felt really angry this evening which led to me yelling, I’m sorry.” Then maybe add on “Can we talk about ______ (whatever it was that they may have done that triggered your anger) so this might not happen this way again?”
Stages of adolescent development – beginning next month. In the mean time seek help if the challenges become stressful enough that family members’ lives are impacted negatively.
As a parent you don’t have to be perfect – it’s not only okay but extremely beneficial to admit a mistake was made. Apologise if appropriate and share your feelings with your adolescent or child. This will give them a far more realistic picture of adulthood and make you a more authentic role model. Forget ideal images. We are who we are and it is okay to let our kids see that.
So next time you lose it and react in frustration or anger, try afterwards saying something like “I felt really angry this evening which led to me yelling, I’m sorry.” Then maybe add on “Can we talk about ______ (whatever it was that they may have done that triggered your anger) so this might not happen this way again?”
Stages of adolescent development – beginning next month. In the mean time seek help if the challenges become stressful enough that family members’ lives are impacted negatively.
